I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
