If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
