I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I think people are normalizing furries
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
