Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
