very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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