so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
