You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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