i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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