i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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