I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
