You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
