Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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