Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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