Well apparently he's into motor boating.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
