Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
