thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
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That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
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Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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