jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
