I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
