Just took my morning after pill in the library
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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