I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
