When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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