My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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