We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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