we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
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