you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I need to align my fucking chakras
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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