Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
