I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
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careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
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I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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