She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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