i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
