Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
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i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
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You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
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