ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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