I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
