i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
