one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
