if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
