dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
