He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
