Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
