so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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