and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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