I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
