i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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