Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
