Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
The uberlube is also flammable
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
