i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
