My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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