So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
