How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize