I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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