i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
