I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
