Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Randomize
