Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
