So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
