make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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