Are we in a gay sports bar?
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
