He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.