I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.