Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
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$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
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Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship