I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet