We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
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I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
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What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?