I'll bet she douches with gravy.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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