You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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