I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
