New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
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