what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
