so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
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He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
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it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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