HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
you didnt know i had herpes?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
