I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
