Where did you get a picture of my penis
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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