She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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